You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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