your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
