i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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