Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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