K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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