Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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