do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
