Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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