I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
