508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
