He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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