I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize