i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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