i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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