please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what day is it and did you see me today?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
