i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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