The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
