He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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