very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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