i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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