Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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