Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
