worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
