Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
