So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
