guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I want to be your penis for a week.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
