i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
