You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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