How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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