Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
