it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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