My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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