I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
