he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize