we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize