My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
