She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
