Do vagina's smell?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize