It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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