Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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