sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
