I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
