I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wear drunk well.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
