Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Umm I'm too high to move.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
