i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
where are you?
Hypothermia
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
