Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
