Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize