I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
