For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
