I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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