NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i drank out of a bidet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
