She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
