i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
