We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
