I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
