Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
