No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
