i may or may not be watching the land before time
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
